This is your brain. (Cue eggs.)
This is your brain on two weeks of pulling your life out of boxes, getting jerked around by the cable guy, moving said boxes around and emptying them some more, having a turkey sandwich or 12, deal with the cable guy again, starting a new job, working 9 out of your first 10 days there, finally getting an internet connection so you don’t have to post to your poor neglected website under the cover of the back corner computer at work, and neglecting it for a couple more days after that. (Cue skinny, over-make-upped, but oh-so-hot in a dirty sort of way chick who probably couldn’t scramble eggs if you put them in a blender, but looks so much hotter going to town on the kitchen appliances with a frying pan here.)

Ah. Much better.

And once again, I’d like to thank Blazing Saddles for the subject line, but you probably knew that already.

So yes, I have internet and cable at home (it was nice timing that one of the four channels I could watch had the Olympics on, and another had two damn fine Simpsons episodes on the day I could watch them, but once I realized that Univision isn’t Spanish for “Cinemax”, I was ready for the cable to come). Of course, it hasn’t been without its hassles, but it all works, and will hopefully be touched up tomorrow so that my “installation” no longer involves a tangle of wires in the corner and splitters and cable under carpet all over the place. Oh, and the words “free October” would be nice, too. For those of you who care to see what my place looks like (which I think includes family, a couple friends, and some guy named “Ali” who’s been hanging around way too much and asking too many questions), you need to come visit. That or I’ll have pictures taken as soon as all the boxes are hidden and I figure out which wall gets the golf art, and which gets the day-glow body painting of adult film star Erika Eve.

Titty paintings in the dining room are a good thing, though I can see where some may consider that “tasteless”. Heh. Go figure.

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I think I’ve officially crossed another plateau in the “life of a blogger”, by sharing with you some of the search terms that bring people to this site.

Somehow over the past 8 or so months, the phrase “Simpsons panda love” has been kind to me. While it doesn’t show up on the first three pages of a Google search without the quotes, when you add them, its second, behind only a couple threads at Blogger Forum where I discuss earlier success of having “Simpsons panda love” bring people to my site.

And while I haven’t had many hits lately from the greyhound insemination lovers, a simple search on “hey ya remix” has brought me at least one hit every day this week. Give my friends a lazy afternoon, an open Notepad window and a catchy mainstream rap hit, and its instant Googling success!

My favorite two of the past week, though have been “hardened liver pictures” and “donnie moore +photos”. I know that neither of those exist on this site, though I do believe I’ve likely made more than one reference to the former Angels pitcher who offed himself for letting the Red Sox get to the World Series, and while my liver has had its more solidified moments, I don’t think I’ve ever taken a picture of it.

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Speaking of search results, reading an article on punctuation while blogging (via the Yawp, through Blogger), I came across the phrase “erroneous colon”. It made me giggle. It still makes me giggle. It will probably make me giggle a month from now. Its just that good. Sure, they’re talking about extra punctuation, but did they have to use THAT example? Probably not.

What makes it even funnier is this article about visitors to Lake Erie’s favorite drunktank, Put-In-Bay, coming down with all kinds of “intestinal ailments”. With a few friends heading up that way this weekend, it makes me giggle even more. Fortunately, they’re well aware to avoid the water, and stick to the hard stuff. But, if they slip just once, hopefully their colons don’t get all erroneous on them.

(Note: Before the “erroneous colon” quote came to be, I couldn’t decide if visitors to Put-In-Bay were simply suffering from “Commodore Perry’s Revenge”, or “the Jet Express”)

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Finally, a sad note, as a former history professor of mine, Dr. Stuart Givens, died last week. They say he was 80, I thought he was at least 110 when I had him my senior year at BG. That man really knew his business, that’s for sure. Thanks to his “Personalities of the 20th Century” class, I’ll always remember that Margaret Sanger founded Planned Parenthood (for reasons I probably shouldn’t discuss here, some of you may be eating). On nice days, Stu would ride his old school 3-speed bike a few miles into campus to give his lectures, then ride off afterwards. Not to get all sappy my first day back, but he was a really nice guy and a great prof. (Oh, and I got an “A” in that class.)